Some days I feel as though I’m the main character in the movie “Groundhog Day”.  If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s about this man who wakes up each morning and it’s Groundhog Day.  He can’t move on until he gets the day right.

I feel as though I keep having to take the same spiritual test over and over again until I get it right!  And anyone who knows me, knows that it sometimes takes a while for me to get it right.

This post should have started with “Hello, my name is Terry and I depend on people way too much!”  (That’s when all of you should respond with “Hello, Terry”)  🙂

For the past few years, our family has dealt with some major changes.  Family members moving, loved ones passing away and friendships that have moved on without us.  As someone who loves people, this has been extremely difficult.  Losing my sister had to be the hardest.  She was not only my sister but she was also my best female friend. Test number 1:  How on earth do I survive without Naomi?

Then we lost my dad.  Very tough in so many ways.  Test number 2: How do I move one without one of my parents?

This past summer has been very, very hard in our church family.  We have had some dear friends leave our congregation and some of them wish to no longer be part of my life.  I actually had a “sister” at our church put her hand on my shoulder and tell me that I had to stop reaching out to someone who doesn’t want to be contacted!  (How pathetic is that?!) Test number 3:  How can I possibly deal with this painful rejection?

Last night, as I was lying in bed, mourning all the different losses, I asked God “What on earth am I suppose to be learning here?  I can’t deal with many more tests? I don’t want to be “unfriended by anyone else!  I don’t want to be ignored!”  And then….you guessed it…I feel the gentle tap on my shoulder and hear “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  (Joshua 1:5b and Hebrews 13:5b) And I realized that, because I’m human and also a little thick headed, I put way too much faith in people who are going to let me down and who will leave me.  I put too much pressure on mere humans to make me feel loved, treasured, and important.  But that’s too big of a job for anyone.  It’s not fair to them, either.  I need to put my faith in Someone who will not leave me due to death, due to a re-location or due to a disagreement.  The only time that I will feel far from my Heavenly Father is if I’ve moved away from Him.  I can never, ever do anything so bad or hurtful that He would ever say “That’s it!  You’ve gone too far this time.  I’ve had it with you.”  He promises me that He will never leave me.  What a comfort to know that in this world, I have at least one friend that won’t ‘unfriend’ me.

So, hopefully I’ve learned and maybe I’ve passed this spiritual test….but I’m not holding my breath!  😉  I’ve got my pencil all sharpened for the next test.  I hope I’ve studied enough.  🙂