tapmyshoulder

It’s been a while since I’ve written on my blog.  Trust me, it’s not because God hasn’t been “tapping me on my shoulder”!  He’s been teaching me a lot lately.  Some of the things He’s been trying to teach me…well, let’s just say that it’s basically same lesson, different day!  I’m such a slow learner.  But one lesson that I’m learning over and over is the voices in my head are not what God would want me to be hearing. Following is a testimony that I gave at church recently.  I think there are many of us that struggle with what I’m about to share.  Hopefully the lesson that I am learning encourages you.  🙂

Recently, I shared with a “sister” of mine an error I had made at work and apparently I was pretty hard on myself. She stopped me and said “You put yourself down quite often.”   Really? I took this to heart and told her that I was going to work on correcting that. She is now holding me accountable.

That evening, I told Mark what my friend had said. On several occasions, Mark has told me that “You are not what that family member said you are!” I think when you are told something enough times, you start to believe it and not question it.

The next morning, on my way to work, I drove by a young man riding his bicycle. It was an extremely cold morning and I noticed that he was not wearing gloves and his hands were bright red from the cold. As I drove by this young man, I heard God say to me “Give that man some gloves.”   What?! I’m already running kinda late and if this guy didn’t know enough to grab some gloves on this frigid morning, well, I’m sorry but I needed to get to work so I just kept going. And then I heard God say again “Give that man some gloves.” So I turned around and drove back past where I had seen this man riding his bike. I turned around once again and pulled over on the side of the road. He had “just happened” to pull over and was standing by his bike. I rolled down my window and said “Ummm, excuse me. Would you like some gloves?” He asked “Excuse me?” Again I asked him if he would like a pair of gloves. After looking both ways, he approached my van and I passed him Mark’s gloves. He told me that he really appreciated the gloves and that he was going to pray for me! I told this young man that I would pray for him, too. And then he asked me “Are you a believer?!” I told him that I was and he told me that he was also a believer. I waited to make sure that he was safely back across the road and then I continued on my way to work. And then it hit me! The Creator of the Universe spoke to me! God! God speaks to me. Who am I to tear down or put down someone whom God loves and wants to interact with.

About 4 months ago, Pastor Jeff was preaching on the power of the tongue. He shared with us that he asked his staff “When you do something that isn’t wise, what’s the word that comes to you about yourself when you do that?” He used the words “Idiot” “Dummy”. Pastor said that we use these words because we have probably heard these words spoken to us. That really hit home as these are just some of the words that I had heard growing up by some family members. After the message, I shared with Pastor what had just happened that past week with my boss, the bicyclist and the gloves.

I am not who people say I am. I’m not even what I say to myself. I need to remember that I am a Child of the King! And the King speaks to his daughter.

Trust me, I’m still struggling with this lesson.  Weekly I have to remind myself that I’m not who people have said I am. It’s a constant battle to erase those names that have been written on my “Hello, my name is…” name tag. But thankfully, I belong to the One who has given me a new name.