You’ve heard the saying “Confession is good for the soul”, right? Well, it’s time for a confession from me…a broken crayon.
I have a tendency to be a wee bit of a Type A personality. Just a wee bit! There are some things that I just need to be perfect or pretty close to perfection. Beds: I like the bed made a certain way: tight fitting with hospital corners. Silverware: patterned silverware belongs together, not all mixed up. Money: all facing in the same direction. Books on the shelf: lined up tallest to shortest. Just to name a few of my preferences.
Oh, there is just one more: Crayons: I don’t put broken crayons back in the crayon box, only sharp, unbroken crayons belong in my box. Yes, I know I’m not a 5 year old anymore but there is just something exciting and nostalgic about a box of crayons (Crayola Crayons only, if you please!) This morning as I was doing some deep cleaning in the living room, I found some crayons that our grandson Liam had been playing with and that had rolled under my cabinet. One of these crayons was broken in half….I remember that I didn’t speak to Liam for a couple of hours after he broke it! (Just kidding! lol) As I was putting his crayons back in the box, I kept this broken orange crayon out intending to just throw it away because it wasn’t perfect and up to my standards. And then…I felt the Holy Spirit tap me on the shoulder and ask me “Aren’t you a little like that broken orange crayon? Don’t you sometimes feel like you aren’t up to other’s definition of “perfection” or up to other’s “standards”? Don’t you feel unworthy to serve in the way that I designed you or created you?”
Psalms 139: 13&14:
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”
I love this verse but how well do I believe that last line: “I know that (all that has been written in the previous verses) full well.” Do I really believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made? Or do I live as though the verse reads “I’m okay and so-so made”?! Do I live in victory or defeat? Do I live as though I couldn’t possibly be used because I don’t look like the other crayons in the box?
I may not look like the other crayons in the Crayola/Christian box but I am unique. I’m a unique “color”! God has given me legs that work, eyes that see, a brain that works..occasionally! He has given me a heart to feel deeply and love others. A spirit to adore Him and want to become more like Him even though I mess up daily.
What about you? Do you ever feel like this little broken orange crayon? Feeling like you’re not worthy to even wear the title “Daughter/Son of the King”? Not deserving to claim to be a Christian? Or do you feel that you need to become like those perfectly sharpened other crayons before you can even begin a relationship with the loving Artist? Feeling like you are so far away from the crayon box that you’ll never get there? Thankfully, God, the Great Artist can use all of His little crayons: broken or whole. And unlike me, He loves all of His “crayons” no matter what they look like or how they perform.
As I was looking up the verse from Psalms 139, this was the verse of the day on Bible Gateway:
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Coincidence? I don’t believe so. So with that being said, I’m logging off to finish cleaning the living room. Ooooohhhh, is that a coloring book under the couch?! Maybe I’ll just grab my box of imperfect crayons and color for a while.
tapmyshoulder 