tapmyshoulder

I think I may be having an identity crisis!  Sometimes I’m not sure who I am.  At first I was “Brenda and Foster’s daughter”, and then I was “Ralph and Naomi’s sister”.  Once I became “Mrs. Mark Hathaway”, I was “Mark’s wife”.  It didn’t take long to move onto “Kenny/Sarah/Kaitlyn’s mother”.  About a year and a half ago, I added 2 new identities:  “Kelly’s mother-in-law” and “Sean and Eric’s Peemaw”!  🙂  There are many other titles that I’ve been given but I’ll leave those alone.  🙂

Do you ever feel as though people have forgotten just who you are?  Recently, while I was home in Peru (Maine), a man asked me “Aren’t you Naomi’s sister?”  Yes, I am Naomi’s sister.  Being Naomi’s sister wasn’t always easy.  Although Naomi was 4 years younger than me, she was the one I looked up to.  I would only sleep at my Grammy Brown’s house if Naomi went with me!  I didn’t like going to our “den” out behind our house unless Naomi was there to banish all the creepy things out in the woods!!  Naomi and I were alike in some ways but very different in other ways: Naomi was a member of the National Honor Society; I was involved in FHA (Future Homemakers of America.  Yeah, I was cool even back in High School).  Naomi worked hard for her English Degree, I received my “MRS.” degree!  🙂  Naomi was very organized, I had to look around to find my laptop to write this post!  🙂  Naomi could play the piano, me…I play the cd player!  Naomi canned her own food, I can use a can opener like no one else!! 

Now, please don’t think I’m bitter.  Naomi was my best friend growing up and even into our adult life (aside from Mark, of course).  I feel blessed that I am Naomi’s sister.  She was (and still is) such a blessing to me and to so many other people.  And “Naomi’s sister” can’t wait to see her again.

All this rambling to say:  sometimes I can easily feel as though I have no identity of my own.  I love all of my titles listed above but I think, this past year, the title that has meant the most to me is this one: “Daughter of the King”!  I have a heavenly father that has allowed me to climb up onto His lap when my world has come crashing down.  He has put His arms around me when I cried to Him “I don’t understand what you are doing!!!  How is this the plan you have for 5 children?!?  What good can possibly come out of this tragedy?!”  My Father is patient and loving! 

Because of what Christ did on that cross 2,000+ years ago, I am told “At one time we (Terry!) too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures… But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,  so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:3-8)  I am an heir with Christ!!  How cool is that!? 

Gotta go…Mark’s wife has to iron something for him to wear to work!   🙂

You may be wondering how on earth did I pick “tapmyshoulder” for my blog name.  🙂 

For the past couple of years, our family has gone through some big changes.  During these times, I often feel God tapping me on the shoulder trying to get my attention.  Sometimes He’s had to revert to using a spiritual 2×4 to get my attention!  If I am obedient and quiet, I can hear what He has to say to me after He’s tapped me on my shoulder.  But often, like when my friend John taps me on my shoulder, I look the opposite way.  How much do I miss by turning the opposite direction when God has something to show me or teach me?  Does God get frustrated that I’m not paying attention?  Is He disappointed that I’ve missed out on a lesson?  I’m grateful that he understands my lack of focus and He still loves me.  He’s such a patient God!  He has so many good things for me!  He never leaves me!  He never walks away in frustration because I’m focused on something pretty or shiny and not focused on the lesson at hand!  🙂  He understands that I’m a work in progress and that one day, when I arrive Home, I’ll be perfect! 

Lord, help me to pay attention to your tap on my shoulder, help me to be focused on you and not the things that soooo easily distract me!  Thank you for being the patient God that you are.  Thank you that you do make beauty out of the ashes.  Thank you that when I feel life is totally out of control, you are totally in control!  Thank you that you have so much to teach me and you’re willing to wait for me to learn these lessons!!

I find this new venture in blogging both exciting and scary!  🙂   I can’t imagine why anyone, even my family, would be interested in reading the random thoughts of a 29+ year old female.  Hopefully you will enjoy what you read and more importantly, I hope you learn more about what my Father is doing in my life.  Thanks again for joining me in this new adventure of mine!

Thank you for checking out my new blog!  🙂